[ if there's anything that lliorel is particularly adept in, it's leaping into conversations and situations with far more external confidence than what she feels inside. she'd have thought, or at least hoped, that by now she might have actually acquired a more solid sense of internal confidence too, but... nope, not yet. either way, it doesn't stop her from keeping on in this vein. good on him for exacting such an effective pause. lliorel can't tell whether it's intended or accidental, the product of his needing to finish the wine first, but she feels her heart hammer a little bit harder in her chest for it.

she stays quite still and thoughtfully silent for a moment. mulling over the words, forcing herself to think about things that she has so far managed to sidestep in her own head. ]

Sometimes I can't help but wonder if that's not what the world needs, [ she begins softly, as though making a terrible admission ] But I know that it isn't. That I wouldn't make the world any better than what it is by doing so. I've not intention of martyring myself for this cause; I want to see it through to its end, whatever that end may be. I've never felt something like this before, something that desperately makes me want to live, survive and fight.

[ her expression twists, somewhere between cringing and flinching. ]

I suppose I must sound naive, but I can't help that. Until something gives me cause to feel differently about it... that's how I'll feel. [ she gives aedan a long, long look. ] Though I don't believe for a moment that it wouldn't have broken many hearts and hopes if you had not survived the Blight. I know that isn't quite what you meant, but all the same.